Asymptomatic

Today was one of those days that was so good I wondered if maybe my OCD diagnosis wasn’t real. Like maybe I just exaggerated my symptoms and I’m really neurotypical. That’s how good today was.

I mean, I know my diagnosis is real. BELIEVE me. Some very brilliant mental health professionals established that and reading the DSM makes that beyond apparent.

“Recurrent and persistent thoughts…that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.”

CHECK.

“The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts…or to neutralize them with some other thought or action…”

CHECK.

“Repetitive behaviors (e.g. hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g. praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession…”

Oh my goodness, CHECK.

“The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.”

Yes. Yes. Yes. Check.

I could go on, but I think you get the point…

Today, however, I was, for all intents and purposes, asymptomatic.

No compulsions. No intrusive thoughts.

It was wonderful.

I know better than to think I am cured. There’s no cure for OCD.

I know I need to keep up with my exposures and continue taking my medication as prescribed. I know that the hard work we’ve put in and the right combination of meds are what is responsible for this amazing, relaxing, obsession-free day. I’m not silly enough to think I can just stop working now.

Right now, I’m just enjoying it. My next obsession is surely waiting in the wings, but this respite, however brief, has been lovely and has given me the motivation I need to stay the course. If I could feel like this more often, my life would be pretty darn swell.

(Of course, even with the OCD, I’m still pretty blessed…)

Fellow battlers, I wish you a day like mine. It’s amazing, and you deserve it.

3 thoughts on “Asymptomatic

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