Today is my day of treatment in the partial hospitalization program. The thought of leaving brings up a rather large mixed bag of emotions, most of which are positive. Here’s a few I can think of:
I feel grateful. Grateful that I was able to get the help I needed without being put into the poorhouse.
I feel proud. Proud of the work I have done.
I feel apprehensive… What If I’m about to slip up and don’t realize it? What if I’m really in danger and no one caught it?
I feel confident. I’ve been kicking butt. I’m going to keep kicking butt. If I was in danger, one of the many brilliant minds that have been working with me would have caught it by now. I’ve been doing exposures that just talking about made me cry when I first admitted.
I feel excited. I get to see my kids again! I get to live at home!
I feel content. My life–when I’m actually living it– is pretty darn awesome. I can’t wait to be back living it.
I’m ready to get back to my life. I’m ready to be my kids’ mom again. Wish me luck, everyone.