One of the biggest things I miss from my days of working was my commute home.
Back when I was still teaching, I lived five minutes away from school. This was immensely helpful when I was in a hurry to get to work (still an hour and a half before the first bell) in the mornings, but in the evenings, after a particularly difficult day, I would start driving in the opposite direction along Lake Michigan and let myself unwind.
I miss having a way to downshift.
There’s no downshifting in my life. I hit the ground running when I wake up, and don’t stop until nap time. Usually, I work right through nap time (because otherwise my house would be a complete disaster rather than the charming mess it is most days…) and I don’t stop until either my husband gets home or the kids fall asleep, whichever of those comes first.
I miss having that quiet time.
I miss having a journey to divide my work life from my home life.
Now, home is my job, so there’s no division between work and home.
It’s incredibly rewarding and I’m so thankful we can afford for me to stay home, but sometimes I miss just being able to shift to something different once in awhile. Like when I would get sick of grading papers, I would start lesson planning for a little bit, just to give my mind something new to work on. I was still working, I was just mixing things up a bit.
I don’t know how to mix things up at home. I have to be mommy 24/7, because my littles are too little to be left without supervision while I go do something else, even if it is for them.
I know this time is limited.
I know we’ll have a point in time when I’m begging my children for just a little bit of their time.
But for now, not having a little bit of time to shift gears is starting to wear on me.
I think that’s why I blog a little. It lets me downshift a little before I pour myself into bed. It’s a sorely needed release.
Still, I need to find another, productive way of shifting down in the evenings.
I’ll let you know if I find one.