Taking care of myself…

Like most moms I know, I’m really bad at taking care of myself. I feel guilty when I start doing something that’s just for myself because I have these two awesome little people who are so incredibly dependent on me for their needs… 

But that needs to change. 

I need to take care of myself for them. 

One of the less-than-awesome side effects of my medications has been weight gain. Add that to having given birth 5 months ago, being overweight when I got pregnant, and being only 5’5″, I found myself one pound shy of obese.

Obese.

That’s a line I really don’t ever want to cross. 

I don’t want to limit the quality of my life or my children’s lives by being unhealthy, and I want to give them as many good years with me around as I possibly can. To do that I need to get a little creative. 

I’ve got to start finding ways to workout with my kids, eat healthier, and lose weight safely. 

I’ve been afraid of losing weight. 

I’ve been gradually gaining for years, and my main worry is not that I won’t be able to lose the weight, it’s that I’ll become obsessed with losing weight. It’s happened before, and knowing now what I know about my brain, I’m really worried it’s going to happen again. I’m worried I won’t just make healthy tweaks to my diet and add some activity back in. I’m worried I’ll start restricting calories excessively and working out too much because a workout is one of the few things that will shut off my brain. I’m worried that my daughter will grow up with a mother who is too obsessed with weight and that, as a result, she will not have a positive body image. I’m just plain worried. 

Part of me says I’m catastrophizing here. Part of me thinks I’m using this as an excuse not to start.

Part of me thinks there’s a kernel of truth in there…

…and that kernel frightens me. 

So, over the coming weeks, I hope to be honest about this journey towards a healthier me. I hope that sharing the journey keeps me healthy on it. 

Moms, how do you incorporate workouts into your normal routines? Any tricks? 

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