Why I wrote for a month

If I manage to post again tomorrow, I will have written every day for the entire month of February…

…yes, February is the shortest month, but it’s still a month, so it counts.

…and there were 29 days this year, so there.

For some, this might have seemed like a silly goal.

For me, however, it was therapy.

You see, it’s really hard for me to finish posts. I rehearse, revise, reread, and revise some more.

When it comes time to hit that magical “publish” button, my palms start to sweat, my eyes flick back over the text, and a lump forms in my throat. My fingers twitch, my mouth gets dry, my chest feels heavy.

What if it’s grammatically incorrect? What if someone thinks I’m a bad writer? What if I said something that makes someone think I’m a bad mother? a bad wife? a bad sister/daughter/friend? What if someone has really negative feedback and I can’t handle hearing it?

For me, writing in a public forum is a huge leap of faith. It’s sending my thoughts, fears, obsessions, and hopes out into this giant chasm and hoping that there isn’t snark hiding somewhere in the wings.

Forcing myself to publish every day forced me to edit less and challenge my anxiety. It was kind of like one big, long extended exposure, and it really helped me to get out of my shell. So now, as February turns to March, I’m looking for my next month-long challenge.

What would you challenge yourself to if you had to do it for a month?

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