Okay, I’ve got a *few* things to report. Like:
1.) I was wrong. I am totally a baby person when I’m not being rocked by postpartum. I am having a blast with Honeybee. She’s a little over 6 months old, and I’m smitten. I mean, I always loved my children. I wanted them fiercely. They were planned and tried for. But I never enjoyed the baby phase before now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to not being the major food source and a few good nights’ sleep, but this phase is no longer just a “knuckle under” thing for me. Goes to show what proper treatment, the right support, and a whole lot of exposure work can do.
2.) Honeybee is the most easygoing baby I’ve had so far. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m calmer, happier, and more secure, or if she’s just loving the tiny bit of sertraline she gets through breastmilk*, or if that’s just her, but she’s so chill. She fusses for half a second, but when she realizes you’re giving her what she wants, she giggles and calms down immediately. Everybody, right down to the dog is smitten with her.
3.) Bug has absolutely no memory of when mommy lost it. What a relief. We are, however, seeing some anxiety in other people we know and love, so I’ve done my best to start explaining anxiety to him. I’m still figuring out exactly how to navigate it with him. I just hope that if he (pr any of my kids) ever needs help, it will be as second-nature for them as getting their teeth cleaned.
Everyone is doing well. I hope you are too.
*stay in your lane, pill shamers–pediatrician, obstetrician, neonatologist, and psychiatrist all signed off on that decision