September Update

This post may be incredibly short, as at this moment I am trying to keep tiny (two year old) feet off my keyboard. I felt compelled (not in a compulsive way, I promise…) to write and reclaim this corner of the interwebs.

I admit, I moved away from this blog. I thought I could make a bigger difference somewhere else, and that I could become…I don’t know…useful if I changed my niche. But I’ve realized a few things, and I’ll try to explain them without sounding too full of myself.

1.) My niche here is small, but that doesn’t make it any less important.

In fact, I believe that the OCD community is ridiculously underserved. I’m sorry that I forgot about that, because when I was at my lowest point two years ago, just knowing there was someone else out there who understood would’ve helped me so much. I hope, at some point, that I can do that for someone else.

2.) My journey with OCD is not done. Not by a long shot.

It isn’t something that gets “cured,” and even though I’m not struggling like I once was, my OCD is still a part of me. Even on the days where I am practically asymptomatic, my brain still works differently than someone’s who is neurotypical. I thought I didn’t have much left to say about OCD. The truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever run out of things to say about it. Mostly because it morphs and finds new weaknesses to exploit. As soon as I get the harm thoughts out of my head, the scrupulosity pops up. When I finally have the scrupulosity handled, I’m sure my brain will give me a new way to scare me. It’s always different, and yet always the same. It’s all OCD. All the time.

3.) My voice is most authentic when I am open and honest about my weaknesses.

I started another blog. One where I pretended I had my shit together. But you know what? I don’t. That is incredibly apparent as I finally finish my September update on October fourth. The world doesn’t need another mommy blogger afraid to show her cracks. Here, my cracks are fully on display. Have at them.


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